The loss of a pet can be one of the most traumatic experiences that we go through. Spending their lives within our immediate orbit and loving us unconditionally makes for a deep connection that transcends words. Even though they are not human, they are still a member of the family and often times the relationships we have with them can be some of our most beloved. Losing them means we let go of our companions, who bring us joy, comfort, and a sense of home. Just with their existence, pets help bring out that inner child with fun, social and active energy, giving meaning to our lives with a sense of structure.
Allow it All
When a pet passes, it is normal to feel racked with anger, sadness, grief, and hopelessness. The most important thing to remember is to allow yourself to feel it all so that you are able to process it in a healthy way without attaching to the pain. In this act of surrender, you meet yourself in a loving way, with the awareness that you are observing your experience rather than being defined by it which will eventually lead to a sense of peace. While some people may not understand the depth of your relationship with your pet, feeling guilt or shame will actually get in the way of healing because it means you are judging your experience. During this process, you may be overwhelmed, triggered, and experience depression; it Is all within reason.
As a highly individual experience, some find that the grieving process comes in stages and others find it comes in waves and gradually. The more you allow for whatever wants to come up, the easier it will flow through. It doesn’t matter how old we get, feelings are always with us and they are truly just an indication of our humanness. However, the difference between children and adults is the awareness and discernment to be able to cope without attaching. What would you tell your child self through the process?
Independence is a beautiful thing, but there is also something to be said for having support in our lives; especially when it comes to the harder times. It’s important to talk about what you’re feeling because bottling it up can make it even harder to work through the process. There are healthy ways to cope with the pain and hopefully, the following suggestions will help:
Reach out to others who have lost pets
There are pet loss support groups, pet loss hotlines, and even message boards with plenty of resources. It’s much easier to be vulnerable with those who have experienced a similar loss and they may share things that all resonate in a unique way.
Your feelings are YOURS
Stay your number one cheerleader and do not let anyone tell you how to feel; including yourself. Any and all things coming up or not coming up like anger, sadness, tears, sorrow, despair are all very natural and you will let go when you are ready.
Honor them with a ritual
A funeral can help you and your family express your feelings openly in a safe container. A ceremony can be quite healing and bring those around you even closer through the process.
Create a legacy
Anything from a memorial, to planting a tree in their memory, or creating an album are all beautiful ways to honor their life that integrates a tangible sense of completion. These simple gestures create ripples of love that will keep you and your family grounded throughout your days.
Prioritize self-care
Losing a pet can be stressful and deplete your emotional reserves which means it’s very important to take care of yourself. Eat a nourishing diet, get plenty of sleep, exercise and dance to release endorphins as well as connecting with loved ones. Maintaining your regular routine will help keep you stable, especially if you have other pets as well. Keeping everyone active and engaged will help not only them but you as well. If your grief persists in an overwhelming way and interferes with daily life then seeking professional help can be a really great way to have a guide through the process.
Although it comes with a lot of sadness, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel and whether this guide is for you or to support someone who is in the grieving process we are here as a community you can count on. Follow along with our journey on Instagram @Petlox and we’ll be back with more blogs posts as we explore the tender world of pets.